Scream of Consciousness #3

1. Al-truism: A particular pithy Sharpton comment.
2. National Pubic Radio: The Howard Stern Show
3. Madison Queer Garden: Sports facility in Chelsea area of Manhattan where the Back-door Olympics are held.
4. The World According to Garth: Everybody gets a little porky and wears a big cowboy hat, 24/7.
5. “God Bless America”: What politicians publicly are always asking the creator to do, not realizing that most of his blessing time is spent on helping athletes achieve victory.
6. Aer Cunni-Lingus: Controversial airline which lets women fly free.
7. Cowasaki: Bovine-shaped motorcycle prototype planned for Asian market, which was inevitably cancelled due to low sales projections in India.
8. The Humpback of Notre Dame: Large whale seen frolicking in the Seine near the famed cathedral in 1987.
9. The “Sex Pistols”: The kind that go “bang!”
10. Baby Boomers: A flatulent population of Americans born shortly after WWII.
11. Breast augmentation: KFC’s new strategy.
12. “Heritage not Hate”: This flag may remind you that you used to be our slaves, but we don’t hate you for it, okay?
13. “Built like a brick sh*thouse”: A somewhat odd compliment thought to be attributed to masonry fetishists.
14. Whore Crossing: Long overdue safety walkway on Remount Road.
15. Barry Bonds: Something Barry does with his trainer at least.
16. Spoiled Brat: German sausage left out too long.
17. Duke Lacrosse team’s real problem: They can only come together as a team on the field.
18. Reason why this occurs: They leave everything on the field.
19. “Hummer”: A copywriter’s astute choice after deciding that “Blowmobile” wouldn’t sell.
20. The Marshall Plan: Anna Nicole Smith’s astoundingly successful strategy.
21. “You still workin’ on that?”: What servers unthinkingly ask customers without realizing they haven’t provided them with pickaxes, machetes or shovels.
22. “Balling the Jack”: Notation in Marilyn Monroe’s personal calendar for “Wednedays.”
23. Oliver Twist: Cubby Checker’s wisely discarded initial choice for a stage name.
24. Organ music: Just another Ron Jeremy false claim.
25. “Go South, young man!”: Frequently bellowed order to Cher’s dates.
26. Ann Drogynous: Michael Jackson’s alter ego.
27. Karlo: Of the Marx brothers, the serious one.
28. Campaign chest: Catherine Harris’ recently acquired asset.
29. “A man among boys”: latent homoerotic sports expression.
30. Tom Cruise: What Tom do when Katie not around.
31. Auto-eroticism: One on the floor.
32. Darth Evader: Dick Cheney.
33. American Lesion: Fox News.
34. Same (Old) Sex Marriage Amendment: Law with overwhelming make, bi-partisan support mandating that after six months of marriage, wives must agree to other forms of sexual union beyond the missionary position.
35. Convenience Stores: They’re all self-serving.