Best Confederate Flag Supporter Website

Caucasian States of America.com, created by that dynamic of occasionally delusional Internet duo known as “Colonel Arthur and Major John G.,” offers a plethora of educational and entertainment information for ardent flagellates.

Once you have registered, there is an immediate financial reward, the opportunity to purchase the organization’s own credit card, the Massah Card, and item that not only provides low interest rates and high prestige, but commands that certain other members of the community “keep their places.”

True believers will also be excited about the password, “s-l-a-v-e,” an audacious acronym for the organization’s registered name, the Southern League for the Acquisition of Valued Employees.

Once safely within the inner sanctum of this glorious group, you will be eligible to join some of its august sub-groups, such as the Mystic Knights of the Confederacy, where on bowling nights you will use modified Confederate cannon balls and go for strikes against set-ups that include a Martin Luther Kingpin.

You will also be presented with a free KKK-Mart charge card and be able to shop at this very special discount department store with a 1940s atmosphere tastefully decorated ith quaint “good old days” signs, such as “Colored” or “White” over the restrooms or drinking fountains, or “Whites Only” at the lunch counter. Believe me, you would cut the nostalgia with a whip. Additionally, you will receive discounts at the store on your Mystic Knights white hooded robes. Amusingly enough, many members have found out that the hoods also make excellent dunce cap covers.

You will be invited to the organization’s annual conference and, coincidentally, it will be held in the charming Community of Ladson, SC, this year, where there will be endless parties, during which you will, no doubt, spontaneously join in group chantings of the CSA’s inspiring mantra, “If at first you don’t secede, try, try again.”

You could also be lucky enough to meet online the CSA’s only black member, George Jefferson Davis, who always arrives at these events in an armored car with bodyguards, nonetheless shaking with trepidation, a condition cleverly referred to by the group’s more traditional members as a case of the “plantation shudders.”

Finally, there is a virtual tour of Colonel Arthur’s thriving lawn jockey factory, where, as a special bonus, you can pick up one of his special celebrity models that range from Dennis Rodman to Colin Powell.

Every April 12, as a member of the SCA, you will be able to celebrate “Secession Day” by drinking a mint julep from your CSA shot-glass, before smashing it enthusiastically against the wall, to commemorate the “shot-glass heard ‘round the world.”

And logging off, the Caucasian States of America ends with a defiant declaration, “The South Will Rise Again!”

Happy surfing, you Flaming Flaggots!