Things the Southern Baptists Dislike Most About Gay Pride at Disney World

1. Evil Queen in Snow White played by Dennis Rodman.
2. The libeling of a fine Negro man (“He’s almost one of us”) like Charlie Pride.
3. Gipetto dressed Pinocchio in a “wood” tight leather outfit, gave him a pouty look, and a yearning to dance on Broadway.
4. Pirates of Caribbean made victims “mince” the plank.
5. Donald Duck spends way too much time with his nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie.
6. That new attraction, “Bath House Land”
7. In the Presidents Hall of Fame, it’s totally disgraceful that Richard Nixon speaks with a decided lisp.
8. Adult video, “Mickey and Goofy Play Choo-choo Train.”
9. “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride” does not involve any sort of vehicle, just a Budweiser-bloated bull dyke frog.
10. New 8th dwarf: “Fruity”
11. Ellen Degeneres’s Fairy Godmother is over-the-top.
12. Robin Hood constantly refers to his Merry Men as “The Boys in the Band,” many of whom are played by members of The Village People.
13. “Long” John Silver is overexposed (if you know what I mean).
14. Vile spectacle of Uncle Remus accidentally “Zipping his Doo Dah.”
15. At Space Mountain, many of the guides kept their “pocket rockets.”
16. Michael Jackson singing “It’s a Small World.”